(acknowledgement to Lennon and McCartney’s ‘Bungalow Bill’)
Bill gets out his barbecue
least three times a week.
Summer’s here and the wasps we fear
are emerging as we speak.
in apron-flapping frenzy
he looks some kind of freak.
Hey, Barbecue Bill, what do you grill Barbecue Bill?
He lights the charcoal easily
and turns the flames up high;
he let the cinders glow awhile
as smoke curled to the sky
and when it came to using tongs
he’d sometimes let you try.
He wears a crisp white apron
trimmed with purple stripes;
so when the grease spots hit his specs
Bill can give a wipe;
never cooks with dirty nails –
he simply ain’t that type.
Chicken wings and burgers
but still, veggies have a ball.
There’s fish wrapped up in silver foil,
cos Bill, he grills it all.
With skill he turns things over – none of it will fall……
Hey Barbecue Bill, what do you grill Barbecue Bill?
Sometimes he’ll grill a ready meal
in its shiny foil tin
‘but not when it’s so hard to pierce’,
his momma butted in,
‘and make sure its defrosted well before you begin’.
Hey Barbecue Bill, what do you grill Barbecue Bill?
Lamb chops start to sizzle and Bill gives ‘em a turn;
he loves to give the kids a go so that they will learn just how to test the sausages and never let ‘em burn…….
Succulent aromas drift round the neighbourhood; passers-by peep in to try and say
‘Mmmmmm, what smells so good?
Bill invites ‘em in awhile
but they ain’t gonna get no pud.
Hey barbecue Bill, what do you grill Barbecue Bill?
Relishes and sauces and mustard by the ton
just awaitin’ you to spread ‘em thick
upon your wholemeal bun,
returnin’ for a refill as he fills each rumblin’ tum…. Hey barbecue Bill, what do you grill Barbecue Bill?
Now, one time Bill got distracted
by a person of desire.
Guess we’ll never know how it was
that something strange caught fire.
The way Bill doused those flames with beer was something to admire.
Hey barbecue Bill, what do you grill Barbecue Bill?
He’d time things to perfection
left nothing there as raw,
the hot end from the cooler yeah,
Bill sure knew the score
then dished it out quite fairly, but there was always plenty more….
That was the day Bill was summoned
to that barbie in the sky –
his beard caught fire one afternoon –
I recall it was late July.
Now he’s cookin’ for the angels –
just hear them onions fry.
Hey barbecue Bill, what do you grill Barbecue Bill?
Lea’s poetry 